I shall believe
by Tess84
Summary: AU. Buffy Summers is, at nineteen, single mom of threeyearold Cody. When she starts college in Sunnydale, she meets new people and makes new friends, among them William 'Spike' Giles. Will there be more than friendship? I don't own them! Review, please!
1. 1 New beginning

**1 – A new beginning**

"Mom, we'll be less than two hours away, you can come visit whenever you want." Buffy Summers put the last of her bags in the trunk of her car and turned to her mother, "You know that."

"I know." Joyce Summers opened the door to the back seat and put her grandson in the car seat. "It just won't be the same."

"Yeah." Buffy gave her mother a hug. "We'll miss you too."

"Cody hug too! Cody hug too!" The two women turned to the child in the car.

"You want a hug from Nana too, do you?" Joyce leaned into the car and gave Cody a hug. "I'm gonna miss you, sweetie."

"Nana see us." He smiled at his own idea.

"That's right, sweetie, I'm gonna come see you as much as I can."

"Well, you can't come to see us if we never actually leave." Buffy walked around the car and opened the door to the drivers seat. "We really have to go if we're gonna make it in time for..." She looked at her watch as she got in the car. "... which we're already late for. Shoot! We're supposed to meet that girl, what's her name, something about a tree, at two and it's already after twelve."

"Don't worry, I'm sure she'll understand." Joyce closed the back door and came around to her daughter. "Drive safe, OK? And call me when you get there."

"I will, Mom." Buffy hugged her mother one last time through the window. "Tell Dawnie to call me when she gets back from camp, OK?"

"I will." Buffy started pulling out of the driveway. "And don't forget Cody's nap at four o'clock, he gets so cranky otherwise."

"Mom." Buffy stopped for a moment at the end of the driveway. "I think I know how to take care of my own son."

"I know, I just worry. I've always had you two here, all the time, having you so far away..."

"I know, Mom. It'll be fine, you'll see." Buffy tried to give her mother a reassuring smile, even if she felt terrified herself.

"I know it will. Just promise to call me if you need anything, I'm only a couple of hours away."

"I will. Bye!"

"Bye! See you next weekend!" Joyce waved until she couldn't see the car anymore before she went back into the house.

xxxxx

"Crap." Buffy looked at her watch as she turned off the car on the UCS parking lot. Almost twenty minutes late. "Please still be here." She got out of the car and got Cody, who had fallen asleep during the ride, out of his car seat.

"Mommy..."

"We're here, baby. We have to hurry." She locked the car and put the keys in her pocket before walking towards the building she knew to be administration. She found a sign that said 'Student Information' and followed it down a corridor until she got to the office. She opened the door and walked up to the desk inside where a blonde girl was seated.

"Hi, I'm a little late, I'm looking for..."

"Me!" Buffy turned to the other girl in the room, a red head she hadn't seen when she walked in. "Sorry. I'm Willow. You must be Buffy." She offered Buffy her hand.

"Yeah, sorry I'm late, got kind of... held up." Buffy took her hand.

"No problem. I figured you just got stuck in traffic or something. I've got all day." She turned her attention to Cody, who was now fully awake. "And you must be Cody. Aren't you just the cutest little boy I've ever seen." Cody hid his face in Buffy's shoulder.

"Sorry. He's a little shy around new people. And he just woke up, too. Looong car ride." Willow smiled.

"No problem. Let's get going, OK? I bet you just wanna get this over with and get settled in." Buffy gave Willow a relieved smile.

"Yeah, sounds good."

"We'll just take a quick walk around the campus and then we'll take your car – you do have a car?" Buffy nodded. "Good – to your house."

"Sounds good to me." Buffy followed the other girl out through the door and down the steps.

"So, this is the administration building, this is where the registrations will be on Monday. That's the cafeteria over there, and behind that is my dorm, Stevenson. I'm in room 214, if you need anything." Willow gestured to a building that Buffy could see behind the cafeteria.

"The other dorms are Kresge Hall, Lowell Hall and Fisher Hall, they're all in the same area, less than five minutes from your place." Willow kept walking in a comfortable speed, Buffy behind her. "This is the main building. This is where most of the classes are, the PE classes are held in the gym, over there." Willow gestured to a two storey building to the right of the main building. "The library's on the top floor of the main building. It's amazing. The chem and bio classes are held in the labs, in the science building, but you're not taking any of those, right?" Buffy shook her head. "Great. I won't show them to you, then. Unless you want to?"

"I think I'll find it eventually." Buffy lifted Cody, who had fallen asleep again, higher on her hip.

"And that brings us back to the parking lot." Willow gestured in front of her. Buffy looked confused.

"How did we get back here?" Willow laughed.

"The campus isn't that big, but it can be a little confusing at first. You'll get a map and stuff at registration on Monday, and there are maps placed around campus. I'll give you my cell phone number, just in case, so you can call me in case you get lost. I had to do that a couple of times last year." Willow followed Buffy to her car.

"So, you're a sophomore?" Buffy asked while she put Cody back in his car seat.

"Yep." Willow got in the passenger seat and waited for Buffy to get in too. "You're supposed to be too, right?" Buffy nodded and started the car.

"I took a year off back in high school when Cody was born, so I'm a year behind." She turned in her seat and backed out of the parking space.

"How come you decided on UCS?" Willow asked. "I don't mean to be nosy, but they gave me your record, and you got scholarships to like every college on the planet."

"And two on Mars." Buffy joked. "No, seriously. I took the best offer. Here I get a full scholarship, free daycare and a fully furnished house with all expenses covered. Except phone and food."

"You gonna get a job to pay for that? Turn right here." Willow directed Buffy to her new home.

"No, I get $250 a week in child support, plus $200 from my ever absent father. It should cover it." Buffy turned into the driveway Willow indicated and stopped in front of the garage door. "It seems nice."

They got out of the car and Buffy took Cody out of his car seat while Willow unlocked the front door.

"It used to be reserved for faculty, but I guess they made an exception." Willow lead the way into the hall and through a door on the left. "Here's the kitchen, you've got the regular stuff, fridge, stove, microwave, dishwasher and there's some basic things in the fridge, milk and stuff." She opened the cabinet above the sink to reveal plates, glasses and cups. "Knifes, forks and those things are in the drawer to the right here." She indicated the eating area of the room, which had a table and six chairs. "There's no dining room, but it's pretty spacious in here."

They went back into the hall and through twin glass doors opposite the kitchen to the living room, which had a fire place and comfortable furniture as well as an entertainment set. "Living room. Basically says itself. There's fire wood in the shed in the garden."

A vaulted opening led them into another hallway, which connected with the other hall a few feet to their right. Two doors opened into bedrooms, and Willow went into the first one.

"I guess this would be Cody's room." The walls were painted in blue and there were three windows. Half of the room was obviously the playing area, and it had a couple of toy boxes and a low table with two small chairs. In the other half of the room was a low bed, a dresser and a rocking chair in the corner. There was also an adjoining bathroom with a tub. Buffy was pleasantly surprised.

"It's amazing. Did the people who used to live here have children?"

Willow shook her head.

"No, it was old Professor Johnson. He retired last year. I was in here a couple of times before he left, and this used to be his study." She looked around the room. "It's really different."

"I like it." Buffy went over to the bed and put Cody down. He moved in his sleep but didn't wake up. Willow left the room and Buffy followed. They got to the last room, and Buffy entered.

It was painted white, with a king size bed in the middle of the room. Against one wall there was a dresser and a desk, and against the wall at the foot of the bed was a low bench with a TV-DVD combination on it, as well as a stereo. Three speakers were situated around the room. There was also a walk-in closet and a bathroom attached to the room.

"Wow!" Buffy walked around the room, looking in drawers and exploring the closet and the bathroom. "This is so much more than I expected."

"Only the best for the best." Willow smiled at her new friend. They left the room and went back into the living room. Willow showed Buffy the guest bathroom on the way. The two girls sat down on the couch.

"So, you wanna order pizza or something?" Buffy asked, realizing that she hadn't eaten since breakfast when her stomach growled.

"Sure. There's a great place about five minutes away that deliver. I have the phone number in my cell." She started rummaging through her purse, until she found the cell pone. "Here it is." She took a pen and paper from the small table next to the couch. "I'll give you the number to the pizza place, and the daycare center, and my cell..." She cut herself off. "Shoot! I was supposed to show you the daycare center! I completely forgot! You wanna go now?"

Buffy shook her head, smiling at Willow's upset look.

"No, that's fine. I'm pretty beat from the drive and the tour. I got directions from the school board when they sent some papers, it's only a couple of minutes from here, right?" Willow nodded. "I'm sure I'll find it on my own. Why don't we just order pizza and get to know each other?"

"OK. What do you want on the pizza?" Willow pressed the call button on her cell phone.

"Just plain is fine." Buffy went into the kitchen and took two glasses from the cabinet, and found a bottle of water in the fridge. She went back into the living room and placed the things on the table. Willow was finishing up the phone call.

"Thanks, Fred." She hung up the phone. "The pizza'll be here in about twenty minutes."

"Great." Buffy sat back down on the couch. "So, tell me about Sunnydale. What do you do for fun around here?"

"Well, there's the Bronze, which is basically the only club in town. It lets anyone in, but it's usually cool, there's dancing and live bands every Saturday. There's a bar on the 'bad' side of town, but I wouldn't recommend going there. Then there's The Espresso Pump, a coffee place, and The Grotto, which is on campus. They're a coffee place at day, and a bar at night. A lot of the students hang out there. The pizza place is a pretty big hangout, too. Fred, a friend of mine and her husband, Wesley, own and run it." Her face lit up as she remembered something. "We're going to the Bronze tonight, actually, you wanna come?"

"I'd love to, but I don't have a babysitter yet." Buffy smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, I forgot. Maybe some other time? We go there almost every weekend."

"Sure. My Mom's coming down next weekend, she's bound to run me out of the house anyway. You'll be going then?" Buffy asked.

"Yep. Next Friday will be our big 'start-of-the-year' night, everyone'll be back by then." Willow looked up as the doorbell rang. Buffy stood up.

"I'll get it." She went to the front door and opened it for the delivery boy. She paid for the pizza and gave him a generous tip.

"So, who's everyone?" She asked as she came back into the living room and put the pizza on the table.

"Well, there's me, of course." Willow poured water in their glasses while Buffy opened the pizza box. "And my girlfriend, Tara. She's from Denver." She gave Buffy a cautious look. "You OK with that?"

"That she's from Denver? Might take a little getting used to." Buffy joked, taking a bite of the pizza. "No, seriously, it's not a problem. I had a couple of gay friends in LA, no big."

Willow smiled.

"Great. I hate it when people get all weird even if they say they're fine with it. Anyway, back to the introductions. There's Xander, he's my best friend. He grew up here too, and we've known each other since kindergarten. His girlfriend Anya, who's from New York, don't freak if she starts asking you about your sex life, she's a little... openminded, is one way of putting it, insane is another. Then there's Cordy, Xander's ex, and Oz, my ex, they're Sunnydale originals too. Faith, who's from Chicago, and Spike, he's from England. His Dad's head of the English department, you'll probably have a few classes with him." Willow dug into the pizza.

"OK. That's a lot of names, a lot of... well, kinda weird names, to be honest."

Willow laughed.

"Really, Buffy?" Buffy laughed too.

"I know. It's a nick name, my real name's Elizabeth. My parents called me Bethy when I was little, but my little sister Dawn couldn't pronounce it, so she said Buffy. I guess it stuck."

"OK, I'll buy that." Willow drank some water.

"So..." Buffy took another piece of her pizza. "Willow?"

"Oh, my Mom was a hippie. Still, a decade later, when I was born. Also, I think she might still have been high on whatever they gave her during the labor." Willow smiled.

"OK. I like it, it's... different." Buffy poured herself some more water. "And Xander?"

"Short for Alexander, that's his real name." Willow finished off her last piece of pizza. " I don't know how he got it, though."

"OK. Anya." Buffy turned to Willow on the couch as she took her last bite of the food.

"Swedish Mom. It's apparently a common name over there."

"OK... what were the rest?" Buffy couldn't remember all of the names.

"Cordy, Oz, Faith, Spike. Oz's name's Daniel Osbourne, Spike's really William. Don't ask me how he got the nick name, I've never dared ask." She laughed and Buffy joined in.

"I know what you mean. They're all sophomores too?" Buffy asked.

"No, Tara and Spike are juniors. Oz would be too, but he had to repeat his senior year in high school, because he didn't do the SAT's. He's really smart, though." Buffy could tell that Willow really cared about all of her friends.

"So, what's your major? Or haven't you chosen one yet?" Buffy leaned back on the couch.

"Bio/Chem. I've always been fascinated by the way the world works, you now, processes and that stuff. How about you?"

"English. I want to be a writer or a journalist. I read _Pride and Prejudice _when I was eleven, and I was caught." She thought she heard a noise. "Hang on a minute." She left the room and went into Cody's room, but he was still asleep.

"Then you'll have a lot of classes with Spike and Giles, that's his Dad." Willow said as Buffy re-entered the living room. "Spike majors in English too, and he TA's some classes..." She was cut off by her cell phone ringing. "Hello? Hi sweetie... but we weren't supposed to meet until six... it is?" Willow looked at her watch, and Buffy followed her motion. It was already six fifteen. "We must have lost track of time, sorry... yeah, I'm at Buffy's... right... we ordered pizza and talked some... OK, I'll meet you in ten... bye, love you." She hung up and turned to Buffy.

"Sorry, I gotta go, that was Tara, we were supposed to meet fifteen minutes ago. I guess we lost track of time?" She smiled apologetically.

"It's fine. I wanna get some things unpacked anyway, and relax a little." Buffy walked Willow to the door.

"You've got my number, and come over whenever you want if you need anything, OK? And if I don't see you before, I'll see you on Monday at registration." She waved as she backed down the driveway, and Buffy waved back.

Maybe moving wouldn't be so hard after all?

**AN: Anya actually is a Swedish name, only spelled Anja instead of with a y.**


	2. 2 Registration

**2 – Registration **

Buffy tried to remain determined as she opened the door to leave the day-care center. She knew if she didn't leave now, she wouldn't be able to. And she had to be at registration in ten minutes. She could still hear Cody crying inside. She hated leaving him in new places. They had met with the head of the day-care center the previous day, and she knew they would take good care of her son. She also knew that she would hardly be able to tear him away from all the fun he would have when she came to pick him up at the end of the day, but that didn't make it any easier.

Buffy walked the short distance to the Administration building, where registration was held in the quad. She got in the right line, and surrendered to the waiting.

When she had been standing there for about half an hour, she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Buffy! Buffy!" She turned to see Willow and another woman walking towards her, Willow waving frantically.

"Hey, Willow!" Buffy returned the hug Willow gave her.

"Buffy, this is Tara, Tara, Buffy." Willow introduced.

"Hi Buffy, it's nice to meet you." Tara offered Buffy her hand, and she took it.

"You too. Willow talked a lot about you the other day." The three women smiled at each other.

"We should get going." Willow looked at Tara, who nodded.

"Don't let me keep you. I'm just happy to see a friendly face." Buffy smiled at her new friends.

"How about we meet for lunch at..." Willow looked at her watch. "Say one thirty? You should be done by then. You'll get to meet some of the others, too."

"Sounds good." Buffy nodded. "You guys go, I don't want you missing anything."

"OK, see you later." Willow took Tara's hand and they started walking towards the Administration building. Tara turned to wave goodbye.

xxxxx

"Hey, guys." Buffy sat down next to Willow at a table in the cafeteria.

"Hi, Buffy. Guys, this is Buffy. You've already met Tara, and that's Xander." Anya and Oz." Willow pointed as she did the introductions.

"Hi, everyone!" Buffy smiled at the people around the table. Xander, a guy with brown hair and eyes, and Anya, a blonde girl, said hi. Oz, who, strangely enough, had blue hair, settled for a nod.

"So, you're a freshman?" Xander asked.

"Yep. I would be a sophomore, though, I had to take a year off in high school." She didn't go into details.

"Why?" The question came from Anya.

"Anya!" Willow exclaimed.

"What did I do?" Anya looked innocent. Buffy laughed.

"It's OK. It'll come out eventually, anyway. Thanks, though." She gave Willow a thankful smile, before turning back to Anya. "It's the usual story. I met a guy, fell in love, thought he loved me, things got serious, I got pregnant, he left."

"You have a kid? Really?" Xander looked surprised. "Who woulda thought?"

"He's adorable, has the most beautiful eyes ever..." Willow was interrupted by a brunette girl who sat down next to Oz.

"Talking about me again?" She asked, smiling. Willow huffed.

"Very funny. Buffy, this is Cordy, Cordy, Buffy." The two exchanged greetings. "No, I was actually talking about Cody."

"I thought you were into girls. This sounds like someone I should meet." The others around the table laughed at Cordy's words. "What?" She looked at her friends. "What'd I say?" Willow suppressed her laugh to answer Cordelia's question.

"He's three and a half, Cordy. That's too young, even for you." Cordy blushed a little.

"Well, how was I supposed to know. Why were you talking about a three-year-old anyway?" Cordy looked annoyed.

"He's Buffy's son." Tara explained.

"Oh. Sorry." Cordy gave Buffy an apologetic look.

"No problem." Buffy smiled.

"You have any pictures?" Anya questioned. "I just love kids."

Buffy opened her backpack and got her wallet, where she always had a couple of photos, out. She pulled out the most recent picture, from when her Mom had taken her, Cody and Dawn to Disneyland earlier that summer. She handed it to Anya.

"Willow's right, he is adorable." Anya handed the picture to Xander who passed it on to Oz who gave it to Cordy.

"He really is. He must look like his father, though, with the dark hair and eyes." Cordy was too focused on the picture to notice the look of pain her words brought to Buffy's face. Willow, however, did.

"You OK, sweetie?" She put an arm around Buffy's shoulders. The others had concerned looks on their faces. Cordy looked up.

"I did it again, didn't I?" She hit herself on the forehead. "My foot seems to live in my mouth today. I'm sorry."

"No, it's OK. It just... still hurts a little to think about it, that's all." Buffy tried to pull herself together.

"Hey, who died?" Another brunette joined the table, squeezing in between Tara and Cordy. The others stared at her. "Sorry. Everyone looked so serious, I just wanted to lighten the mood a little."

Buffy laughed.

"Let me guess. You must be Faith." The other girl smiled.

"Sure thing. And I have absolutely no clue who you are."

"I'm Buffy." Buffy was caught off guard when the other girl started laughing.

"No, seriously." Faith saw the look on the others faces. "Oh... sorry." Buffy laughed a little herself.

"Don't worry about it, I get that a lot."

"So, what was with the long faces?" Faith snagged a french fry from Cordy's plate.

"Hey!"

"Oh, like you were gonna eat them anyway. Aren't you on some diet or another?" Faith helped herself to a couple of more fries.

"That doesn't mean you can eat my food!" Cordy pulled her plate out of Faith's reach. Willow decided to end their little bickering.

"Cordy did one of her famous mouth slips."

"How was I supposed to know that the guy had run off? That's what happened right?" Buffy nodded at Cordy's question. Faith looked even more confused.

"OK, I'm missing something here, aren't I?"

"I guess I might as well tell you the entire story, it'll just be confusing otherwise." Buffy waited until she had everyone's attention before she started talking again.

"OK. At Hemery High, which is the school I went to in LA..." Cordy cut her off.

"You're from LA? Who would leave LA to come to this hole?"

"Cordy!" The entire table yelled at her.

"OK, OK, sorry!"

Buffy continued.

"Anyway, every school has that popular guy, the one every girl wants to date and every guy wants to be, right." Willow and Cordy got dreamy looks on their faces and said with one voice.

"Cameron Walker."

"Well, at Hemery that guy was Liam 'Angel' O'Connor. He was a senior, captain of the football team, head quarter back and could have any girl he wanted. And he picked me, a freshman. Our first date was the Valentine Day's ball, and after that we were practically inseparable. He asked me to the senior prom, and, of course, I accepted. After all, I was the only freshman to have been invited. So, we went to the prom, danced, had a great time. After the dance, Angel had rented a hotel room at a fancy hotel in Beverly Hills, his parents have a lot of money. We went to the room, he had candles and flowers and champagne and everything and... it led to... other things. At the time I really thought that was what I wanted, but I've realized that I just wanted to do whatever I could to keep him. I knew he was going to college and I didn't want to be just another girl he dated in high school. Anyway, the next morning I woke up, and he was gone. No note, nothing. I was devastated, and spent weeks crying in my room. I tried to call him, but his parents told me that he was in Boston, he had gotten an internship at a lawfirm for the summer before he started pre-law at Harvard." Buffy stopped to take a moment to calm herself. The memory of Angel's betrayal still hurt.

"I tried to get on with my life as best I could. School started again and things went back to normal. Deep down, I knew something was wrong, but I spent some time in denial land. One day in October, my Mom picked me up from school, and she didn't drive straight home. I asked where we were going, and she said that she was taking me to a doctor. She had suspected that something was wrong for a while, and her suspicions were confirmed. By then, I was already almost five months pregnant, and it was too late for an abortion. Not that I think I could have had one, anyway. My Mom was very supportive and told me she would do anything to help me if I decided to keep the baby. I took a sabbatical from school and got a job until Cody was born. I had some contact with an adoption agency, but Mom didn't want me to make a decision before the baby was born, she was afraid I would regret it. The moment I saw him, I knew I could never give him up. So, I was home for the rest of the school year and the summer, and in the fall I went back to my sophomore year and finished high school, got a scholarship to come here, so... here I am."

The entire table was quiet for a moment before Xander spoke up.

"What about the guy, Angel?"

"My Mom talked to his parents after we got the results back. I never talked to him, I think they did. They told Mom that he wasn't interested in taking a part of the baby's life, but that they would pay child support." Buffy felt a sting of pain in her heart. "I haven't seen him since the day of the prom, and he's never met Cody."

"What? But... how could he... I mean... that's just..."

"Willow, honey, you're babbling." Tara pulled Willow out of her rambling.

"Thanks, sweetie. It's just... how could someone do that?"

"That's what I've been asking myself for the past four years." Buffy smiled at Willow. "Don't worry about it, please. It's the way it is, and I'm happy now."

"You must have been, what, sixteen when you had him? God, at sixteen, I was..."

"Queen bitch of Sunnydale High." Xander finished Cordy's sentence. She glared at him.

"Thank you, Xander. Do you want to relive your high school years?" Xander went visibly pale at her words. Cordy smiled. "Didn't think so."

"Xander was a bit of a geek in high school." Willow stage whispered, so that the entire table heard, to Buffy.

"Wil, please, she doesn't wanna hear about that." Xander was bright red now.

"Don't worry, Xander, I can see that you've outgrown that now." Buffy smiled at Xander, making him blush even more.

"Yes, he's very good in bed." Anya, who had been quiet for a long time, spoke up again. "With me." She gave Buffy a look that said 'stay away from my boyfriend'. Buffy put her hands in the air in a surrendering motion and Anya seemed pleased. Cordy decided to get back on topic.

"Anyway, what I meant was, I can't imagine having a baby at sixteen. Hell I can't imagine having a baby now, or... you know, ever."

"I know the feeling." Buffy thought back to the months before Cody was born. "God, I was so scared, I had no idea what to do. But you learn when you have to, it's not like I had a choice. And things worked out OK in the end, after all." She smiled at the people around the table, who she hoped she would be able to call her friends in a not too distant future.

"Who's up for a change of topic?" Faith piped up. "All this serious stuff is getting my mood down, and it was already down before, school and all." She looked around the table, realizing something. "Hey, where's Willy?"

Buffy looked confused, so Willow explained.

"She means Spike. Don't try to call him that, though, she's the only one who gets away with it."

"That's because he knows I'll kick his ass if he tries anything. So, where is the bleached wonder? Anyone heard from him?"

"He's not getting in til late Thursday." Xander spoke up. "Problems with the flight or something."

"Damn, why didn't I go to England too?" Faith complained.

Willow ignored Faith and turned to Buffy.

"So, what classes did you sign up for?" Buffy looked in her papers.

"English Lit., Shakespeare, Modern Poetry, Art history, Major American authors, Women in literature, and Introduction to creative writing." She handed Willow her folder with information.

"I'm in your Shakespeare class, great. I think Giles teaches most of the English courses. I'm not sure which classes Spike TA's though, anyone know?" She turned to the group.

"I think he said Eng Lit and the poetry class. Not sure about the others." Cordy took the papers from Willow. "Hey, we have Lit together." Buffy smiled.

"Great, I won't be completely lost, what a relief." The others laughed.

"Yeah, freshman year can be pretty overwhelming." Tara smiled at Buffy.

"Hey!" Anya had an idea. "You wanna join our study group?"

"Study group?"

"Yeah, you should!" Willow got excited. "We all get together once, sometimes twice a week to help each other study. Even if we're not taking the same classes, it sometimes helps to get an outsiders opinion. You really should come."

"OK, I think I will. As long as Cody won't be a problem. The daycare center's only open till six P.M. so I'd have to bring him." Buffy waited for someone to object. She had had the same problem all through high school.

"No problem." Cordy said. "And if you need a babysitter, we'd be happy to help out. Right guys?" The others agreed. Buffy felt tears of gratitude forming in her eyes.

"Thanks you guys, I can't tell you what that means to me." Willow put an arm around her shoulder.

"Hey, we're supposed to lighten the mood here. I don't think we're doing a great job." Buffy laughed and dried her tears.

"I'm sorry, it's just... I've never had any friends who were very supportive of the whole single teenage mom thing."

"Well, you've never had any really good friends, then." Xander made an effort to get the mood up a few notches. "So, everybody on for the Bronze on Friday?" Everyone nodded. "Buff, you coming too?"

"Yeah. My Mom's coming up this weekend, so I'll have a babysitter. I'm looking forward to it. I never went out much in LA." At her last words, Cordy and Faith stared at her. "What?"

"You didn't go out in LA?" Cordy sounded desperate. "That's like... a sin."

"Yeah, B, gotta agree with Queen C on this one." Faith realized what she had said. "Wow. There's a sentence I never thought I'd use." Cordy threw a fry at Faith.

Buffy laughed at the argument.

"I don't know... there's not really a lot of places in LA that lets you in if you're not 21, and the ones that do... aren't really a lot of fun." Buffy looked at her watch. "Shoot, I gotta go. I have a meeting with some administration guy in ten minutes." She got up from the table. "It was nice meeting all of you." She got a chorus of you too's back. Willow got up as well.

"I'll walk with you, I gotta talk to one of the teachers anyway." She gave Tara a quick kiss. "Bye, sweetie. Guys."

The two girls left the cafeteria and headed for the administration building.

"They're really nice." Buffy reflected. "You're lucky to have such good friends."

"Yeah, don't I know it." Willow smiled. "They really liked you, too, I could tell."

"You think?"

"I know." Willow looped her arm with Buffy's. "They're really great people, if you let them in."

"Yeah, I'll have to work on that..." Buffy sighed. "Oz doesn't say much, does he?"

"Not really. But he's a really nice guy."

"How come you two broke up?" Buffy asked.

"Well, that's a pretty long story." Willow laughed.

"Short version."

"OK." Willow thought for a moment. "Back in high school, me and Oz were dating, and Xander and Cordy were dating. Before I met Oz, I was in love with Xander, since we were kids. Then, it was before our homecoming dance in our senior year, we were getting ready together. Well, not together together... you get the picture." Buffy nodded and Willow continued. "Well, we... just kissed I guess. I'm not sure how it happened, but it did. And Cordy and Oz chose that exact moment to walk in."

"Oh." They walked in silence for a while. Buffy spoke first.

"I'm surprised you guys are still friends."

"Oh, we weren't at first. All senior year, they both avoided us like the plague. But when we all ended up going to UCS, we decided to bury the hatchet. Xander was dating Anya by then, and I had Tara. Cordy dates, but it's never serious. Oz has a girlfriend, Veruca. She's in a band and is on the road most of the time. I think they're happy." She smiled. "I know I am."

They entered the administrations building, and stopped for a moment.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow." Willow gave Buffy a hug before walking down one of the corridors, calling over her shoulder. "Shakespeare at ten!"

Buffy smiled, waving at Willow. Yes, college was looking good.


	3. 3 First day

**3 – First day**

Buffy stepped into the big auditorium, looking around the area. Twenty or so students were already there, and she spotted Willow among them, waving frantically at her. She waved back and made her way over.

"Hey!" Willow gave her a greeting hug. "How was the first day of college?"

Buffy sat down next to her friend and put her backpack on the floor.

"Well, this is my first class, so I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know at the end of the day." Buffy responded. "At least I managed to get here on time. Wasn't sure I'd make it for a while there."

"Cody giving you trouble?" Willow gave her friend a sympathetic smile.

"He's not used to the environment yet, it'll take a while." Buffy sighed. "He didn't want me to leave him at the day-care center, but he never does. And then, when I come to pick him up, he doesn't want to go home."

"Yeah, I've heard about that phenomenon." Willow laughed. "My cousin has a five-year-old, I baby-sit sometimes."

"Good to know." Buffy responded.

The students quietened down as a man in his fifties entered the room through a door behind the teacher's desk.

"That's Giles." Willow whispered. Buffy nodded.

"Good morning." Giles sat on his desk, facing the room. "Since today is the first day, we'll just do a quick run through on what we're going to cover in this class." He picked up a paper from the desk. "But first, attendance." He started calling names, and the student in question answered.

"Good, it seems like everyone is here." He put the attendance list back on the desk and took a heap of papers off it, handing it to one of the students in the front row. "Please pass these around." He waited until everyone had a paper. "This is the curriculum for this class. You can read it yourself. I will expect you to be here when you are supposed to, to complete and hand in your assignments on time and to participate in the discussions. If you do that, we will not have a problem. Participation makes up for 30 of your grade. Midterms and finals for 50 and assignments 20. Any questions?" Nobody said anything. "Good. The books you will need are on the curriculum, bring them to every class. Dismissed."

The students started filing out of the auditorium, but Willow held Buffy back.

"Let's go talk to Giles for a minute." Buffy followed her down the steps to the teaching area.

"Hey, Giles!" Willow gave the older man a hug. "How was your summer?"

"Very good, thank you." Giles turned his attention to Buffy. "I don't believe I've met your friend."

"Oh, this is Buffy, she's a freshman. Buffy, this is Mr. Giles, but everyone just calls him Giles." Willow introduced. "Buffy's going to major in English, so she'll have a lot of classes with you. I just wanted to introduce you."

"It's very nice to meet you, Buffy." Giles extracted his hand. "Your reputation has already preceded you, I've heard that you're a wonderful writer." Buffy blushed.

"Thank you, Mr. Giles."

"None of that. It's just Giles. Now, which classes will you be taking?"

"This one, obviously, and English Lit., Modern Poetry, Intro to creative writing, Art history, Women in literature and Major American authors." Buffy went through her classes.

"Good, good. I'm teaching the Lit course, as well as the poetry and creative writing." Giles motioned Buffy towards the door, where Willow was already standing. The trio walked into the hallway and towards the exit. "I believe you will be in contact with my son, then. He will be the TA in English Lit. Just don't let him scare you. His bark is worse than his bite." Willow laughed at Giles' words.

"I couldn't have said it better myself." At Buffy's confused look she continued. "You'll know what we mean when you see him. He'll be back Thursday, right?" She directed the question to Giles.

"Yes, I believe so. There was some problem with his ticket, the British security has gotten a lot tighter after nine eleven, especially when it comes to travels to the States. He's supposed to arrive on a little after midnight between Thursday and Friday."

"Great, then he'll be able to join us for our big reunion night at the Bronze." Willow announced.

"Great." Buffy smiled at her friends excitement.

"Oh, darn, I completely forgot." Willow stopped on the stairs outside the main building. "I gotta go, Buffy, will you be OK? I told Tara I'd meet her before her class at eleven if I had the time."

"Go, I'll be fine." Buffy motioned for Willow to leave.

"OK, how about we meet in the cafeteria a little after eleven? I don't have class until one thirty. We'll have lunch." Willow skipped down the steps.

"Sure." Buffy nodded. "My next class is at two, so I've got plenty of time."

"Great, see you then!" Willow said over her shoulder.

Buffy turned back to Giles, who was standing beside her.

"I'll just get out of your hair, I'm sure you have things to do." Buffy smiled at the older man. "It was nice meeting you, and I'm sure I'll love your classes." She turned to leave, but Giles called her back.

"Actually, I thought maybe we could talk a little." Giles motioned for a bench a few feet away. Buffy followed him and sat down.

"I've had contact with your English teacher in Los Angeles, he sent me some of your work." He gave her an encouraging smile. "I must say I was very impressed. I haven't seen that sort of potential in a long time." Buffy couldn't control her excited smile.

"Really? Seriously?"

"Definitely. If I was the editor of a paper, I would hire you on the spot." He took off his glasses and started cleaning them. "She also informed me of your special... situation." He put his glasses back on and looked at her.

"Oh." Was the only thing Buffy could say. Where was he going with this?

At Buffy's facial expression, he quickly continued.

"I'm sorry if I embarrass you, it is not my intention. All I wanted to say, is that I understand that it might be hard for you to keep up, and that if you have any problems, to come to me or my son." He patted her hand in a comforting way.

"Thanks." Buffy smiled at him.

"I imagine it hasn't been easy for you." Giles returned her smile. "And I'm not going to tell you that it will get easier, because, quite frankly, it won't. College is hard enough without a child. But I believe you will do just fine, and I will try my best to make it easier on you when it comes to my courses. As long as you finish the assignments somewhat on time and do the tests, I will not care about a few missed classes. Alright?" Buffy nodded.

"Thank you. It's good to know that someone understands." Giles gave her a questioning look. "I had a couple of teachers in high school that... weren't exactly supportive. I guess the principal had something to do with that."

"Mr. Snyder." Giles huffed.

"You know him?" Buffy asked, surprised.

"When I came to the States, I had the... misfortune to work with him for a while. Too long, if you understand my meaning. I have been on the receiving end of his prejudice ideas." Buffy laughed at Giles' obvious loathe for the tiny man.

"I know what you mean. He didn't fail to let me know what he thought of me." Buffy got a sad look on her face as she remembered some of the principals more hurtful words.

"I'm sorry you had to put up with him." Giles put a hand on her shoulder. "I assure you, nobody on this campus would ever behave in that manner. And if they do, you just let me know."

They both sat quiet for a moment before Giles spoke again.

"How are you finding your accommodations, everything satisfactory?" Buffy nodded.

"It's amazing. I think they renovated the entire house for me. Everything's great."

"Good. And how are you adjusting? I would think there is a distinct difference between Los Angeles and Sunnydale."

"It's different, very different, but, so far, in a good way. I like the small town life. LA can get so... big and anonymous sometimes. The people here are so nice and understanding, you know?" Giles nodded at her statement.

"I lived in New York for a couple of years before moving out to California. I would think it's the same mentality as in Los Angeles. The 'mind your own business and stay out of other people's lives' mentality." Buffy laughed at his phrasing.

"I know what you mean. And this is such a better place to race a child, too. A lot less things to worry about."

"Yes, I would believe so. How is... Cody, is that right?" Buffy nodded. "How is he adjusting?"

"I think he'll be fine once he's settled in. New environment and everything, he's been a little cranky."

"Yes, I can imagine. My son was thirteen when we moved to New York from England. New city, new country, it's safe to say that he had some trouble fitting in." Buffy nodded.

"I'm glad Cody's still little, I can't imagine moving with a teenager." Giles laughed.

"No, that is not something I have any desire to do ever again. But he turned out alright... if you look hard enough." Giles chuckled.

"What's he doing in England?" Buffy asked, curious.

"Visiting his grandmother, my mother. She still lives in London, and he goes there every summer. They are very close."

Buffy nodded, thinking for a moment about her own family situation. Giles noticed her distant look.

"Everything alright? Did I say something?" Buffy shook her head.

"No, it's just..." Buffy shrugged. "I don't want to bother you with my problems."

"Please. Bother away."

"Sometimes it just hits me, I guess... that my son will never have that. A real family, with a Dad and grandparents... stuff like that..." Giles gave her a sympathetic look.

"Don't give up yet. You're still young, I'm sure there are plenty of young men waiting to ask you out."

"Yeah... you wouldn't believe how easy it is to scare them off." Buffy laughed. "There's not a lot of guys who go for the two-for-one deal. Believe me, I know."

"Maybe you just haven't met the right one?" Buffy gave Giles a wondering look. "You shouldn't give up, there are still some decent guys out there." Giles looked at his watch and got off the bench. "I must be going. Will you be alright?" Buffy nodded. "I will see you at two o'clock, then."

Buffy remained sitting on the bench for a while, thinking about what the older man had said. She had given up on dating, realizing that high school boys weren't interested in the instant family package. Most of the guys who had asked her out had changed their mind after she told them about Cody. There had been a couple of guys who had said that it wasn't a problem, but when she had suggested they meet Cody, they had quickly backed out. Then there were the ones who thought she was easy because she had a child. Buffy winced at the memory of Parker.

They had been on their second date, on their way to a movie in his car when he'd pulled into an abandoned parking lot. When she asked him what he was doing, he had laughed, saying that he knew what kind of girl she was. She had reached for the car door, but he had been faster and pinned her to the seat. She had no doubt about what would have happened if a cop hadn't showed up.

But the last straw had been Riley. He had transferred to Hemery for his senior year, Buffy had just started her junior. He asked her out, they dated and when she asked him to meet Cody, who was one and a half at the time, he had actually been excited. It had lasted little over six months, and she thought it was going good. Then one day, she had decided to surprise Riley. Her mother had come home from a business trip a day early and was watching Cody. Riley's parents had been out of town and she had let herself in using the spare key she knew they kept in a flower pot on the back porch. Walking up the stairs, she heard a weird noise, but didn't think much of it. When she opened the door to Riley's room, she found him in bed with the school tramp. She ran from the house crying, Riley not making any effort whatsoever to follow her. He had come by later that night, wanting to explain. Apparently, he had felt neglected because she had been too occupied with Cody, who had just had the flu and an ear infection. He didn't feel that she cared anymore, so he had turned to someone else. Needless to say, she broke the relationship off then and there.

That was the last time she had dated anyone, and it had been over a year ago. Maybe it was time to give it another chance? Not all guys could be as bad as the guys she had had the misfortune to date in the past. At least she hoped so.

xxxxx

"Hi there!" Buffy looked up at the sound of Willow's cheery voice.

"Hey." Willow sat down at the table.

"Did you survive all by your lonesome on the big, scary campus?" Willow smiled and opened the milk cartoon on her tray.

"I've only been here a couple of minutes actually." Buffy followed Willow's example and opened her juice box. "I talked to Giles for a while, he seems really nice." Willow nodded.

"He's great, the best teacher on campus. If you like Giles, you'll have no problem getting along with Spike, he's a lot like his father. Even if neither of them wants to admit it." Willow giggled a little. "You'll see what I mean. So, what did you guys talk about?"

"Ignorant teachers." Buffy laughed at Willow's facial expression. "It turns out Giles used to work with my old principal from Hemery. He's a troll, doesn't care about his students at all, as long as they don't ruin his beloved school's reputation. He gave me a hard time when I returned after Cody was born. Made pretty clear what he thought of me." Buffy looked down at her food, not wanting to meet Willow's eyes, afraid of what she might find.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry." Willow put an arm around Buffy's shoulders. "You shouldn't care about what people say, they don't know anything."

"Thanks." Buffy took a deep breath, trying to pull herself together. "And I know, it's just hard sometimes..."

"Well, if anyone says anything, just send them to me. I'll show them a thing or two." Buffy laughed at the determination in Willow's voice. "I'm serious. See this." She pointed at herself. "This is my resolve face. No one can resist it."

"OK, OK. I'll remember that." Buffy laughed before getting serious again. "And thank you. It means a lot." The seriousness of the moment was broken by Cordy, who joined them at the table.

"Hello all!" Her bright smile and positive charisma quickly lightened the mood. "So, Buffy, how was your first class?" She asked before taking a bite of her apple.

"Good. I talked to Giles a little, he seems cool." Buffy answered.

"He is, it's the only reason I decided to take Eng Lit when I couldn't get one of my fashion classes." Cordy explained. "That and the fact that Spike's TA, so he'll help me."

"Are you guys dating or something?" Buffy asked, and got a laugh as response.

"Oh, God no. There's a lot of water under that bridge... or over... whatever you say. A definite no, anyway."

"Cordy and Spike went out a total of one time last year, before realizing that they had absolutely nothing in common." Willow explained. "That's how Spike became a part of our little group."

"Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, just not my type." Cordy continued. "Too into books and poetry and stuff for me. You two probably have a lot in common." She directed the last at Buffy.

"Except for the whole punk part." Willow added.

"Punk?" Buffy asked, slightly confused.

"Spike has this whole eighties punk thing going." Cordy explained. "I, personally, think it's just to get girls. He was probably a big geek in high school and decided to get a new look."

"Cause punk and poetry doesn't really go together." Willow continued.

"Exactly!" Cordy finished off her apple and turned to Buffy. "So, ready for your first Eng Lit class?"

"I hope so." Buffy laughed a little. "Giles told me to talk to him if I had any problems, it's nice to have someone to go to."

"That's Giles for you." Willow said with a nod. "He really cares about his students."

"Yeah." Cordy agreed before switching subjects. "I talked to Xander, who talked to Spike last night. We're meeting at eight on Friday, if everyone's cool with that." She looked at first Willow, then Buffy for approval.

"Fine with me." Willow said. "I'll ask Tara, but I'm sure it's not a problem."

"My mom should be here by then, so it should be fine." Buffy thought out loud. "If not, I'll call Willow and meet up with you guys later."

"Great. It's settled!" Cordy turned her attention back to her food, and Willow started going through her note pad. Buffy looked at her two new friends, a smile on her face. She was really looking forward to Friday.


	4. 4 Attractions

**4 – Attractions **

Buffy took a seat in the middle of the lecture hall where Major American Authors, her last class of the day, was being held. It seemed like a popular course, almost all of the seats were taken. Buffy had just put her backpack down when the door in the front of the room was opened and a young man came in. He had blonde, almost white hair and was dressed all in black. Buffy couldn't see any detailed features from where she was sitting, but there was no question that the guy was attractive from the reaction he was getting from the females in the seats closest to him. He stopped in front of the teachers desk.

"Hello all. Mrs. Finley called in sick today, so you'll have to settle for me. I will be the TA of this class for the semester."

_Oh, he's got an accent,_ Buffy thought in her seat.

The TA looked at a paper.

"This class is dedicated to the study of American authors, which means we will discuss authors such as Poe, Whitman, Hemingway, Twain, Faulkner. Who can tell me what they wrote?" Several students raised their hands. He nodded at a girl in the front row.

"The old and the sea." The TA nodded.

"Very good, one of the most famous American novels. Anyone else?" He pointed at a guy a couple of seats from where Buffy was sitting.

"The adventures of Huck Finn."

"Good. More."

Buffy listened as the class went through some of the more famous works by the authors the TA had listed.

"OK. That's enough for now. Does anyone think I missed something?" Buffy raised her hand. "Yes." His eyes lingered on her as she talked.

"Well, we have Sylvia Plath, for one. Then there's Joyce Carol Oates, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Margaret Mitchell, Toni Morrison, who actually won the Nobel prize." She was getting more and more worked up by the minute. "Not to mention Emily Dickinson, one of the greatest poets in modern time."

"And those are all good writers." He kept eye contact with her, and she knew he was challenging her. "But we will be focusing on the best of the best, the greatest American authors through the years."

"And that, naturally, has to limit us to the male authors?" Buffy questioned. "That is so sexist."

"I don't think so." The TA countered. "Can you honestly compare, let's take Dickinson, with Hemingway?"

"Well, of course you can't. Dickinson was a poet, Hemingway wrote novels. They're in two completely different genres." Buffy stated. She refused to look away, not wanting to give him the pleasure of feeling like he had won. Eventually, he was the one to surrender.

"Thank you." He looked around the room. "That will be all for today's class."

Buffy remained in her seat for a moment, completely confused. What had he been doing? When she realized that the room was almost empty, she got up and started walking down the steps to the door.

"Miss?" She stopped, hand on the door, when the TA called.

"Yes?" She turned, and was caught in the deep blue of his eyes.

"Good job. You'll enjoy this class." He smiled at her before turning back to gathering his papers, leaving Buffy baffled once again.

She snapped out of her confused state, and left the class room. Outside she was greeted by Willow and Anya, who obviously had been waiting for her.

"Hey guys." She went up to them. "What you doing here?"

"We just wanted to see how your class went." Willow said, giving Anya a conspiratory look. Buffy noticed.

"What are you two up to?" She asked with a frown. They both gave her their best innocent looks.

"Nothing." They said in one voice. At that moment, the TA from Buffy's class came into the hall. Anya and Willow both turned from Buffy.

"Hi Spike." Willow went over and gave him a hug, Anya not far behind. Buffy just stared in astonishment. This was Spike?

xxxxx

Spike walked out of the class room, his mind still on the girl he had 'argued' with during the class. She was something...

As he closed the door behind him, he was greeted by Willow and Anya.

"Hey Red, Anyanka." He returned the two girl's hugs, at first not noticing who they had been talking to. When he did, he froze, a small smile forming on his lips.

"Hey there." She didn't return his smile. "I'm Spike. I don't think I caught your name in there." She was about to respond, when Willow cut in.

"This is Buffy, she's a freshman." Willow noticed the tension in the hallway and frowned. "You didn't pull your little male chauvinist act on her, did you?" Buffy smiled a little at Willow's revelation.

"So, that's what that was? I was beginning to wonder how the school board could allow a TA that was so obviously biased to actually teach." Spike returned her smile and decided to come clean.

"Was all a show. I have nothing against female authors, in fact, we will be studying, I think, all of the women you mentioned. I try to do something a little... provocative when I first meet a class, to get a picture of the students." He gave her an appreciative look. "I must say, this had one of the most... interesting outcomes."

Buffy blushed a little under his gazing eyes but couldn't make herself break eye contact with him.

"So I passed?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"With flying colors." He responded, their eyes never leaving each other's.

Willow and Anya had been watching the display in silence. Now, they exchanged knowing looks and decided to cut in.

"So, Buffy, you still on for the Bronze tonight?" Willow asked, knowing Buffy had to pick up Cody from the day-care center before her mom arrived.

"Sure, you'll come pick me up, right?" Buffy asked, glancing at her watch as she spoke. "Shoot, I gotta run." She said, realizing the time.

"Go, we'll see you later." Willow shooed her away. "I'll pick you up at eight." She yelled after Buffy's disappearing form. Turning back to Spike, she gave Anya a smile that said 'let's have some fun'.

"She has a date." Willow almost laughed out loud at Spike's reaction to her statement, he looked like a little boy who had just had all of his candy stolen.

"Oh. I... I didn't know she..." He was interrupted by Anya, who had decided to play her part.

"Yeah, handsome guy, real nice too." She managed to keep her expression unchanged.

"I see." Spike nodded. "They've been together long?"

"Oh, about three years or so." Willow couldn't keep up the act anymore and burst out laughing. Anya joined her. Spike just stood there, a confused look on his face.

"What's so bloody funny?" He asked, annoyed.

"The look on your face. You've got it bad." Willow managed to pull herself together and explain. "He's three, his name's Cody and he's Buffy's son." Both of the girls noticed the relieved expression on Spike's face. It was soon, however, replaced with surprise.

"She has a son?" He asked, and Willow nodded.

"Yeah, you don't have a problem with that do you? Cause if you do, then you should just leave it."

"Why would I have a problem with that?" Spike asked, a confused look on his face. "You know I love kids. What about his dad?"

"You don't have to worry about him." Willow responded. "He was just using Buffy, and she hasn't seen him in over four years. He's never even met his own son." At that, Spike just stared at the red head.

"How could someone do that? I mean, you can't just walk away from your responsibilities like that."

"Well, apparently Angel didn't feel that way." Willow said in a bitter tone.

"But, she's not... dating anyone?" Spike asked and Willow shook her head.

"Nope."

"So... you think I've got a shot?"

"By the way you two were looking at each other, I'd say you're half in."

"Anya!" Both Willow and Spike exclaimed.

"What?" Anya said, looking innocent. Willow decided to ignore her.

"As long as you don't have a problem with Cody, I think you should go for it." She said to Spike. "But I think you should take it slow. She's been hurt pretty bad."

"OK." Spike nodded. "So, start as friends, probably a good idea."

"Yeah, I think so." Willow agreed. "You'll probably see each other a lot, she's an English major."

"Then I guess we have a lot in common."

"Yeah. And you'll see her tonight at the Bronze. You can ask her out then."

"Anya!"

xxxxx

Buffy had just put Cody down for his afternoon nap when she heard a car in the driveway. She walked through the house and opened the front door before her mother had knocked.

"Hey, mom. You're early." She said, hugging her mother hello.

"Yeah, I was able to get away a little sooner than I thought." Joyce replied, returning the hug. "How are my darlings?"

"We're fine." Buffy answered while leading the way into the house. "Cody's settling in at the day care centre, and classes are good. I even made some friends."

"That's great, sweetie." Joyce looked around the living room where Buffy had sat down on the couch. "Where is my little angel?"

"He's asleep, just put him down for his nap." Buffy said, patting the seat next to her on the couch. "Sit down. Tell me what's going on with you guys."

"Well, Dawn is very excited about being a senior." Joyce said, sitting down. "She already has a crush on some boy named RJ, and isn't talking about anything else."

"She didn't want to come here for the weekend?" Buffy asked. She had been hoping Dawnie would come.

"Janice is having a back to school sleepover party, so she said she'd go with me next time. I hope you're not disappointed."

"Of course not." Buffy replied. "Now I get you all to myself."

"Do you have any plans this weekend?" Joyce asked and Buffy nodded.

"I'm going to a club of some sorts tonight, if you're OK babysitting." Joyce nodded and Buffy continued. "Willow, you remember the girl that I was meeting when I first got here, is picking me up at eight and we're meeting some of her friends there. I'm actually looking forward to it."

Joyce noticed the look on her daughter's face.

"OK. Who's the guy?" Buffy gave her mother a, she hoped, confused look, remembering her encounter with Spike earlier. She had definitely felt a connection, and thought that he had too. She knew that she'd see him later at that club, maybe... No, she cut herself of mentally. You're not gonna go there again, Buffy. Remember what happens when you get emotionally involved with a guy?

"What guy?" She responded, avoiding her mother's eyes.

"The guy that's got you all wound up. I haven't seen you like this since..." Joyce cut herself off, but Buffy knew what she was going to say and decided to ignore the unspoken name.

"There's no guy. Why would there be a guy? You know me, I'm no-dating-Buffy these days."

"That doesn't mean that you have to be." Joyce replied.

"Mom, please." Buffy sighed. "We've had this conversation too many times already."

"And we're going to continue having it until you realize that not all men are like Riley and Angel."

"Well, that's not gonna happen today anyway, so can we just drop it?" Buffy used the few toys that were spread around the living room as an excuse to get away from her mother's gaze.

"OK." Joyce raised her hands in a surrendering motion. "I'll drop it. For now."

"Thank you."

"When are you leaving?" Joyce asked, changing the subject.

"Willow's picking me up at eight, we've got plenty of time." Buffy responded, returning to the couch. "So, tell me all about what's going on in LA."

xxxxx

Buffy just laid the finishing touch on her light make-up when she heard the doorbell.

"Mom, can you get that? It's probably Willow." She called from the bathroom and heard her mothers steps before the front door was opened.

"Hi, you must be Willow. Come on in, Buffy'll be out in a minute."

"Less than a minute." Buffy added, joining her mother and Willow in the hallway. "Let me just say goodnight to Cody, and we'll leave." Willow nodded and Buffy went into the kitchen where Cody was eating a bowl of cereal before bedtime.

"Wanna give mommy a goodnight hug, baby?" She asked and he hopped off the chair and into her arms. "You be a good boy and do what nana tells you, OK?" She placed a kiss on his dark locks. "Night, baby."

"Night mommy."

Buffy put Cody back in his chair and he returned to his food.

"You know the rules, mom." Buffy said as she passed her mother in the hallway. "I've got my cell phone, call if you need me, OK?"

"We'll be fine, sweetie." Joyce responded, moving to close the door behind Buffy and Willow. "You just have a good time."

"So, everyone's coming tonight?" Buffy asked as she and Willow walked side by side down the drive way. "Should we take the car?"

"Oh, no, we'll walk. Everything in Sunnydale is within walking distance." Willow answered. "And, yes, everyone's coming tonight. They're probably there already." She added after looking at her watch. "Let's hurry up."

xxxxx

"Wow." Buffy exclaimed as she and Willow entered the Bronze. "What is this place, some kind of old warehouse?"

"Yup." Willow replied, spotting her friends through the crowd. She grabbed Buffy by the arm and the made their way over. "Hey guys." She said, squeezing in between Tara and Xander.

"Hi sweetie, Buffy." Tara said, smiling at both her girlfriend and Buffy.

"Hey guys." Buffy waved at Tara, Xander, Anya, Oz, Cordy and Faith who were sitting around the table, getting a round of heys back. Cordy and Oz scooted so she could sit between them.

"Hey." Willow said, looking around the table. "Where's Spike?"

"Right here, Red." Came the answer from behind Buffy. She turned around and was met by the same eyes she had had in her mind for the past couple of hours. Spike was holding a tray with drinks on it, and now he started passing them out. "Red, Goldilocks, want something to drink?"

"A diet coke for me, Spike, thanks." Willow replied.

It took a moment of Spike staring at her for Buffy to realise that Spike had been talking to her.

"Oh, you were talking to me?" He nodded. "I'll have a diet coke too, thanks."

The people around the table started talking as Spike walked towards the bar. Buffy looked after him for a few moments.

_Goldilocks, huh, s_he thought. _I like it._


	5. 5 Study buddies or more

**5 – Study buddies... or more?**

"I am officially bored!" Xander announced and slammed his book shut. Eight pairs of eyes looked up at his words. They were all studying at Buffy's house, and were spread out around the living room.

"Well, it is getting kinda late." Willow said, looking at her watch. "Maybe we should call it a night?"

"Or." Faith suggested. "How 'bout we watch a movie? I mean, we still have all this food." She gestured to the table which was laden with chips, candy and various other snacks.

"Sounds good to me." Buffy agreed and got up off the couch. "You guys pick a movie, I just have to check on Cody." Next to where she had been sitting was Spike, his feet on the table and a large history book in his lap, and Buffy had to step over his legs to get to the hallway. When she did her leg brushed against his, and she felt the tingly feeling that she had gotten used to when it came to her and Spike being close to each other rush through her body. She knew he felt it too, because he looked up at her and for a second she was lost in his eyes. Buffy forced herself to shake the feeling and continued into the hallway and to Cody's room. She tip-toed into the room where her son was sound asleep. To gather herself she sat down in the rocking chair for a moment.

She had been in Sunnydale for almost two months now, and loved living there. She had gotten to know Willow's friends better, and was now a part of their group. They had all accepted her without a second thought, and Buffy was very happy to be able to call them her friends.

The thing that she was most grateful for, and surprised by, was the fact that the entire group had taken an instant liking to Cody. Willow and Tara had practically begged her to let them baby-sit, which she was more than happy to let them do every once in a while, when she felt that she needed some time by herself.

Then there was Spike. He and Cody had a special relationship, Buffy knew that. She was worried that her son was getting too attached to Spike, but at the same time she was happy that he had some sort of father figure in his life, for however long that might last. She had half expected Spike to make some kind of move, but so far he hadn't. She knew there was chemistry between them, but was still too hurt by her previous encounters with the opposite sex to even consider getting into a new relationship.

Buffy snapped out of her thoughts and realized that she had been gone for almost ten minutes. She decided to get back to her friends, quietly crossing the room and closing the door behind her.

"Wondered where you'd gotten to, love." Spike's words made Buffy jump lightly, she hadn't heard him behind her in the hallway.

"Just needed a little breather is all." She replied, smiling slightly, ignoring the butterflies that were, apparently, having a party in her stomach.

"From..." Spike countered, giving her a questioning look.

"Just... nothing." Buffy answered, hoping he wouldn't call her on her lie. She wasn't ready to share her possible feelings yet, least of all with him. She walked past him, making for the living room, only to find Spike grabbing her hand.

"OK." He accepted, taking a step closer to her. "So, it's all me then?"

"All you what?" Buffy asked, not able to tear her eyes away from his as he closed in on her.

"I'm the only one feeling it, the connection between us?" He let go of her hand and brushed a stray strand of her hair away from her face, letting his hand wander down the side of her neck, then to the back, pulling her even closer. "The electricity between us, every time you're close to me?" He continued in a whisper before letting his lips brush across hers in a light kiss.

Spike had half expected her to pull away from him, and was slightly surprised when instead her arms were pulling him impossibly closer as she let him deepen the kiss. He groaned into her mouth and took a few steps forward, pressing her against the wall behind her.

Buffy couldn't control the way her body was reacting to Spike's touches, and part of her didn't want to. It had been so long since she had felt anything even remotely close to the sensation that was now coursing through her body, and she wanted to make the moment last, forgetting about the fact that her son was asleep in the next room and that their friends could walk in on them at any moment. Then, all of a sudden, he pulled away from her.

They stood there for a moment, both trying to breath normally and regain control over their bodies, before Spike spoke.

"You can't tell me that it's just me." Buffy shook her head at his statement.

"No, it's not." She admitted. Seeing the hopeful look in his eyes, she quickly continued. "But I'm not ready for this. I just... I need some time. Can you give me that?"

"I'll give you all the time in the world, princess." He answered, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before turning and walking down the hall into the living room.

Buffy leaned back against the wall, trying to calm her breathing and her racing heart. What the hell had just happened? And, more importantly, why had she let it happen? She was supposed to stay as far away from guys as she could. Had she learned nothing from her previous experiences?

Buffy sighed deeply before pushing herself away from the wall and heading towards the living room. It wasn't like she would be able to avoid him forever, anyway.

Spike watched Buffy as she re-entered the living room. He half expected her to find another seat, not wanting to be too close to him after their little 'encounter' in the hallway, but she returned to her seat next to him on the couch. He gave her a gazing look, but she just shot him a brief smile and turned her attention to Faith and Xander who were arguing about what movie to watch.

"Why can't we watch a movie that doesn't revolve around guys getting beaten half to death for once?"

"You know, Anyanka, sometimes I wonder who the man in your relationship is." Spike shook his head at Xander, who was opting for 'Finding Nemo' while Faith was rooting for 'Fight Club'.

"Come on guys, back me up on this one." Faith pleaded. "I am not going to watch a cartoon fish for two hours."

"Sorry, Faith, I'm gonna have to go with Xander on this one." Buffy said. " 'Finding Nemo' has quickly become one of my favorite movies."

"Oh, and isn't Dory just the cutest thing?" Willow added, getting nods and agreements from both Tara and Anya.

"Guess you're outnumbered, Faithy." Cordy shrugged, and Faith reluctantly put the disc into the DVD player.

xxxxx

"Why didn't somebody warn me that it was a sad movie?" Faith half sobbed as Cordy gently ushered her towards the front door.

"It's not a sad movie, sweetie, it's a happy movie, it's funny." Willow offered, but Faith just ignored her.

"It was just so sad, he never even got to meet his own mother. And then he got locked in that horrible tank. Poor Nemo." They heard her mumble as Cordy led her down Buffy's driveway, turning to wave goodbye.

"Is she PMS-ing?" Spike quietly asked Willow, earning him a slap on the arm from Tara.

"She's sensitive, too, you know." She said, giving Spike her most accusing look. "She just... hides it well."

"Sure, and I'm a natural blonde." He replied, grabbing his duster before walking out the door, stopping on the porch. "Make sure Cody's ready at three tomorrow, we need to leave by then."

Spike, Oz and Xander were taking Cody to a baseball game the following day, while Buffy was going shopping with the girls.

"Sure, I'll see you then." Buffy replied, keeping her eyes on Spike's disappearing form.

"You OK, sweetie?" Willow asked, pulling Buffy out of her trance like state.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine." Buffy offered Willow a smile, getting a knowing look in return. "What?"

"Oh, nothing." Willow replied, knowing that Buffy needed to realize her feelings on her own. "Hey, we're still on for Thanksgiving, right?" She asked.

"Yup. Mom and Dawn are coming here for the holidays, and Mom's been dying to meet all of you guys." Buffy answered. "Everyone still coming?"

"I know we are." Tara said, handing Willow her jacket before putting her own on. "And Cordy and Faith said they'd be there too."

"I go where the food is." Xander said, him and Anya also getting ready to leave.

"I second that." Oz said, and Anya nodded.

"I like holidays with a ritual slaughter." She said, earning five curious looks. "You kill and eat an animal in memory of a historical event. It's a ritual sacrifice. With pie."

"OK, honey, whatever you say." Xander agreed, shaking his head slightly.

"What about Spike?" Buffy asked, not wanting to sound too obvious about the fact that she wanted him to come.

"Well, I don't think he usually celebrated Thanksgiving, with him and Giles being English and all." Willow said, thoughtfully. "But I know he's not going to England for the break, so he'll probably come."

"Maybe I should invite Giles too?" Buffy thought out loud.

"Yeah, I bet he'd like that." Tara said. "Plus, he must be about your moms age, right?"

"Yeah, I think so." Buffy replied. "OK, that's settled then. I'll invite him in class on Monday."

"Sounds good, sweetie." Willow said, giving Buffy a hug before she and Tara left the house, followed by Oz, Xander and Anya. "See you tomorrow, Buffy."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." Buffy called back before closing the door and going back into her now quiet house.

xxxxx

"Come on, Cody, you need to put a jacket on, it could get cold at the game." Buffy coaxed, but Cody was still shaking his head with his arms crossed firmly over his chest. _Oh, yay for the defiant age_, Buffy thought as she heard a car honk outside. She gave up and let Cody run down the drive way to Spike's car, following with the jacket, Cody's back pack and car seat in her hands.

"Hey, pet." Spike greeted her as he peeled Cody from his left leg and lifted him up instead. "You ready to go, tiger?" Cody nodded vigorously and Buffy went to put the car seat in the back seat of the black DeSoto. After Spike put Cody in, she handed him the back pack and jacket.

"He refused to put this on, but he'll probably get cold later." She said. "There's snack and a bottle of water in the bag." She continued, trying to avoid his eyes but failing.

"Hey, I'm not gonna bite, you know." He said. "I said I'd give you time, and I will. Now, you go have fun at the mall, and I'll call when the game is over, OK?"

She nodded and he rounded the car, getting into the drivers seat. They were all meeting at the Pizza Place for dinner after the game. Buffy gave Cody a kiss on the forehead.

"Have fun at the game, baby." She said before closing the car door.

Spike pulled out from the sidewalk, and when he turned right at the end of the street, Buffy went back inside to get her purse before heading to the mall to meet her friends.

xxxxx

"Hey, guys." Buffy said, joining Willow, Tara, Anya and Cordy in the food court of Sunnydale mall. "Where's Faith?"

"Late, as usual." Cordy complained. "She'll be on time the day Hell freezes over."

"That's why we always meet here." Willow explained. "This way, we can get coffee while we wait for her."

"I'm gonna go order." Anya announced, getting up from the chair she had been occupying. "The usual for everyone?" The group nodded, and Anya started walking towards Starbucks.

"Did our boys get off to the game OK?" Tara asked, and Buffy nodded.

"Yup, the guys picked Cody up about half an hour ago. He was so excited." Buffy giggled a little at the memory. "They're gonna call my cell when the game is over, so we can meet them at the Pizza Place."

"Sounds good." Willow nodded. "Hey, you still haven't met Fred and Wes, have you?" Buffy shook her head.

"No, but after all the time I've spent on the phone with Fred, I feel like I know her. They must have doubled their income since I moved here."

"Don't count on it." Willow said. "We're all pretty frequent visitors to that place. Don't know what they would do without us."

"Probably shut down the business." Cordy said, shaking her head. "It's really not nice of them to feed off poor students like us." That earned her three meaning looks. "What?"

" 'Poor students'? Well, we all know you don't fall under that category, don't we?" Willow said, trying to sound jealous but failing miserably. It was an internal joke in their group that Cordy's family had enough money to buy the entire city. She never flaunted her money, though, and every once in a while she would treat her friends to something special.

"OK, I've got coffee goodness for everyone." Anya said, returning to the table. "Cappuccino for you two." She handed Tara and Buffy their coffee. "Espresso extra light for you." Cordy took the cup from Anya. "Decaf Café Au Lait for you." Willow frowned but accepter her coffee. "And, for me, one moccaccino with extra cream." She sat down at the table and started sipping her drink.

"Hey, why did I get decaf?" Willow wondered.

"Wills, honey, you already had two cups of coffee for breakfast." Tara said.

"And no-one wants to shop with hyper Willow." Cordy contributed. "Am I right?" The others around the table nodded, and Willow huffed.

"I do not get hyper from three cups of coffee." At the others expressions, she continued. "OK, maybe I do." She surrendered to her cup.

"Hey guys, how's it hanging?" Everyone looked up as Faith approached the table. "Ah, you started without me."

"We finished without you." Cordy said, disposing her now empty cup onto the tray. "Where have you been? We don't have all day, you know, and I have to find an outfit for my date tonight."

"Sorry that I ruined your plans, Queen C, overslept." Faith said, squeezing in between Willow and Buffy.

"Overslept?" Tara questioned. "It's almost four in the afternoon."

"Yeah, well... got home a little late..." Faith grinned.

"How late?" Willow questioned.

"Little after eight, I think." Faith replied, helping herself to Tara's leftover cappuccino.

"Eight, but that's not l..." Willow started, then blushed when she understood. "Oh, eight in the morning."

"Who was it this time?" Cordy asked, and Faith chuckled.

"Name's Robin, he's at Alpha Kappa Beta." Faith revealed. "And let me tell you, that boy can go all night."

Willow went, if possible, even more red than she already was.

"Good orgasms?" Anya asked, but Cordy cut Faith's answer short.

"Look, you two can discuss your sex life all you want later." She said and got up. "Right now, we have got to get going. I need some serious shopping time. We don't know how long this baseball game will take, so I say let's go."

The other girls hurried to finish their coffee and followed Cordy out of the food court. There was no stopping her when she was on the hunt.

xxxxx

Buffy, Willow and Tara groaned as Cordy led the way to Victoria's Secret. They had been shopping for almost three hours now, and Buffy was praying that Spike would call soon. Her feet were aching.

So far they had been in every clothes store in the mall, plus every shoe and purse store. Cordy had found the perfect outfit for her date that evening, and the other girls had picked up a few things as well. Buffy had managed to slip into a children's shoe store when Cordy and Anya were busy trying on clothes, and gotten Cody a new pair of sneakers. His feet were growing at an alarming rate.

"OK, this is the last store, I promise." Cordy said as she did her visual survey of the store.

"Why do you need new underwear, anyway, Cordy?" Willow questioned. "Isn't this your first date with this guy?"

"So? Doesn't hurt to be prepared for all eventualities." Cordy countered, and Willow blushed, as she always did when her friends sex lives came up. How she managed to stay friends with Anya and Faith, Buffy wondered.

"OK, I'm just gonna go wait outside." Willow said, turning to leave the store.

"Yeah, me too." Buffy said and Tara nodded. They both followed Willow out of the store, all three of them sitting down on a bench.

"I don't know why I get like that." Willow said. "I mean, it's just underwear, and it's not like I don't know that my friends have sex, it's just..."

"You don't want to hear about it." Buffy concluded. "Neither do I, really. And don't worry, you wouldn't be the Willow we all know and love if you didn't get all embarrassed about this stuff."

"Exactly." Tara said, putting an arm around Willow's shoulders in a comforting gesture.

"Really?"

"Of course." Buffy said. "We have Faith and Anya to be blunt about sex, and those two are more than enough... hang on, that's me." She rummaged around her purse, frantically searching for her ringing cell phone.

"Actually, I think that's your phone." Willow offered.

"Thank you very much, miss state-the-obvious." Buffy replied, finally finding the small phone. "Why are these things always in the bottom when you need them? Hello?"

"Hey, love, how's the shopping going?" Buffy heard Spike's voice over the line and thanked her lucky star.

"Please say that you're about to free me from this torture?" She pleaded, getting a chuckle in return.

"Queen C and Anyanka driving the rest of you crazy, huh? Shouldn't you be used to this by now?"

"I'll never get used to this. I thought I was a shopaholic, but those two are ten times worse than me." Buffy ran a hand through her hair and leaned back against the back of the bench. "The game over?"

"Yeah, sorry. We ran a little late. Think you can tear the shopping freaks from the store and meet us in say... fifteen minutes?"

"I'll try. They're in Victoria's Secret with Faith at the moment, but I'll do my best."

"Oh... and why aren't you in the store with them?" He asked, and Buffy's heart was suddenly in the vicinity of her tonsils.

"I... I just don't... need anything from there at the moment." She decided was the best way to go.

"I wouldn't mind going there with you... and I hate shopping." Spike's voice had lowered, and Buffy's heart started beating even faster.

"Spike, I..."

"Sorry, love, got a bit carried away there." He cut her off. "See you in fifteen, then?"

"OK. Bye." Buffy pressed the button to hang up the phone and put it back in her purse before turning to Willow and Tara. "The game's over, and they're heading to the Pizza Place."

"OK, we should get going then." Willow said. "Who's gonna get them?" She nodded at the store.

"I'll do it." Tara said, getting up. "It's not like it's something I haven't seen before."

"You better not look to close." Willow called after her girlfriend, who turned and blew her a kiss before re-entering the store.

"I wish I could have that." Buffy sighed.

"What, a girlfriend? Is there something you want to tell me, Buffy?"

"No, not that." Buffy slapped Willow's arm. "Just the kind of relationship you guys have."

"You could, you know." Willow said softly and they both knew who she was talking about. It was time to step into the mix, she decided. Nothing had happened between her friends, and it had been over two months.

"I know. It's just... I'm scared, Wills." Buffy admitted. "It's not like I have the best track record with guys, and with Cody... he's already too attached to Spike as it is, and if we got together... I would never forgive myself if he left, not for my sake but for Cody's."

"Spike wouldn't do that, he's a great guy you know."

"I know. And it's funny, cause that's exactly what I thought about Riley."

Willow put an arm around Buffy's shoulders, giving them an encouraging squeeze.

"I've never met this Riley guy." She said. "But I do know Spike, and I know that he loves that little boy just as much, if not more, than the rest of us. And if, and I'm not saying this will happen, I really don't think it will, but if you two would break up, I am positive that he would still be around if you wanted him to. OK?"

"OK." Buffy nodded. "I think that I know this, somewhere, but I'm just scared to believe it. I just need some more time."

"Well, you have all the time in the world." Willow said, letting go of Buffy as their friends excited the store.

"Funny. That's what he said too." Buffy mumbled to herself.

xxxxx

"Look what Spike got me, Mommy!" Was the first thing Buffy heard as she and the girls entered the Pizza Place.

"What did he get you, sweetie?" Buffy asked, placing a quick kiss on her son's forehead before letting go of him.

"A bayball!" He held up the ball for her to look at it.

"That's great, baby. And it's signed and everything." Buffy ushered Cody back towards the table where the rest of the gang were now sitting.

"That's what took so long." Spike explained as Cody climbed into the booth next to him and Buffy sat on the closest chair. "Had to wait for the players to get changed and stuff before they would sign the ball."

"That's OK." Buffy replied, trying to avoid Spike's eyes.

"Yeah, we had more time shopping." Anya said happily. "Speaking of, I can't wait to get back to the dorm to show you what I bought." She said, batting her eyelashes at Xander across the table.

"OK, TMI Anya, even for me." Cordy said, grimacing. "Plus, little tea pots have ears too." She continued, indicating Cody.

"I'm not a tea Pot, I'm a tiger!" Cody announced, followed by a tiger roar to match Tony himself.

"That's right, baby, you're a big, bad tiger." Buffy agreed, ruffling Cody's hair.

"Hey, guys, what can I get all of you?" A cute brunette asked.

"Hi, Fred!" Everyone greeted.

"Fred, I'd like you to meet the newest addition to our group, Buffy." Willow introduced.

"Hi, Fred, I've heard a lot about you." Buffy said, shaking Fred's hand.

"Not half as much as I've heard about you, I bet." Fred replied, giving Spike a conspirators look. "And this little guy must be Cody, am I right? Aren't you just the cutest little thing I've ever seen!"

Cody blushed bright red and hid his face in Spike's duster.

"Sorry, he's a bit shy." Buffy said.

"Oh, don't worry. I'm sure I'll see plenty more of both of you." Fred said, still smiling. "So, what can I get you today?"

They ordered and got their food, everyone eating off each other's plates. Buffy ate in silence, watching her son interact with Spike. Cody was usually shy around new people, like he had been with Fred just moments earlier. But with Spike, he had connected immediately, and now, two months later, he was as comfortable with Spike as he was with Buffy and her family, while he still got shy every now and then around the others in the group. Buffy sighed at the image of the two of them, and wondered if maybe Willow was right.


	6. 6 Thank you

**6 – Thank you**

AN: I don't really know how the whole Thanksgiving thing works, so don't shoot me if I get something wrong .

Buffy scurried around the living room, re-arranging things that, to Dawn, seemed perfect to begin with.

"Buffy, would you stop running around? You're making me dizzy!" The younger Summers girl complained, causing Buffy to pause for a moment before taking off again.

"I just want everything to be perfect. Will you check that Cody hasn't gotten his clothes messy from the crayons? I have to make sure the turkey's doing OK."

"Fine." Dawn agreed and went in search of her nephew. She found him in his room, apparently very focused on the drawing in front of him. "Hey, kid, what you doing?"

"Dawing." Cody answered, not looking up.

"What're you drawing?" Dawn crouched down beside him, looking at the paper.

"That's me, and mommy, and that's auntie Wiwow, Anya, Tawa, Faith and Codelia, and uncle Oz, Xande and Spike." He pointed at each of the figures as he named them.

"Hey, sweetie, put the crayons away, they'll be here any minute." Buffy said as she came into the room. Cody immediately jumped up from his chair and ran to his mother.

"Mommy, mommy, look what I dawed for you." He thrust the picture at Buffy, who accepted it.

"Wow, baby, that's a great drawing." Buffy gushed. "Why don't you go to the kitchen and let Grandma put it on the fridge, OK?" She gave him back the picture and he ran out of the room as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"Nana, Nana, look what I made." Buffy and Dawn heard him yell as he rushed down the hallway and into the kitchen.

"He seems to really like your friends." Dawn observed.

"Yeah, he does." Buffy said, gathering a few toys from the floor and putting them back into the toy box. "And they really like him too, actually. I could easily get a babysitter every night of the week if I wanted to."

"Well, that's good, right?" Dawn questioned as she heard the hesitation in her sister's voice. "I mean, that they get along and all."

"Sure, it's great." Buffy agreed. "It's just... I'm not sure how long it'll last. What if they get tired of it?"

"Buffy, if they really are your friends and they really care about Cody, they won't." Dawn reasoned. "And if they decide that they don't wanna hang around, then you're both better off without them."

"I know." Buffy said with a smile. "But you try to explain that to a three-year-old."

"It'll be OK, Buffy." Dawn said, enveloping her sister in a hug.

xxxxx

"Hey guys!" Buffy said, stepping aside to let Willow and Tara into the house.

"Hi sweetie." Willow said, giving Buffy a hug before dropping a bag on the floor to take her jacket off. She had just managed to hang the jacket up when she was attacked by Cody.

"Aunty Wiwow!" He exclaimed as he threw himself into her arms. Luckily, she was prepared and wrapped her arms around the little boy, lifting him up into the air.

"Hi cutie!" She gave him a kiss on the cheek, to which he responded by squirming slightly in her arms. He was starting to get into the phase when he thought girls were icky, but still accepted hugs and kisses from his Mom and aunties. When Willow put him down he continued to Tara, giving her legs a hug, effectively keeping her from moving.

"Hi baby." Tara ruffled Cody's hair before attempting to remove her coat, but failing due to the three-year-old that was wrapped around her legs.

"Come on, sweetie, come see what we brought you." Willow said, effectively freeing her girlfriend of the child as he ran over to Willow.

"Willow, it's only Thanksgiving, you didn't have to get him anything." Buffy said, closing the door, only to open it seconds later at another knock, revealing Anya, Xander and Cordy.

"Hey guys." She said, letting them into the house as well.

"I know it's just Thanksgiving, but I saw this and it just screamed Cody." Willow explained, a sheepish look on her face. She was spoiling Cody every chance she got.

"It's fine." Buffy said. "Just explain to him that it won't be a re-occurring event, or I'll never hear the end of it."

"Sure." Willow complied, happily following Tara and Cody into the living room.

"Well, join the party guys." Buffy said as the trio in the hallway started removing their outerwear. "The food should be ready in about half an hour." She started walking back to the kitchen to help her mom with the food when the doorbell sounded again. "Can one of you get that?" She called over her shoulder.

"Hey mom, how's the food getting along?" Buffy asked as she entered the kitchen. From the hallway she could hear Spike, Giles, Oz and Faith. "Great, everyone's here."

"The food is fine, and I can manage without you running in to check on things every five minutes." Joyce said, ushering her daughter out of the kitchen. "Go socialize with your friends."

Buffy reluctantly obeyed and went into the living room where eveyone had gathered at the dinner table except Giles who was standing, rather awkwardly, at the door to the hallway. Since there was a table and thirteen chairs in the room, there was hardly any room left. The table and extra chairs were curtesy of Giles.

"Hey guys." Buffy said, sitting down between Oz and Faith, getting a hug from both of them. "Thanks for coming, all of you."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, dear." Giles said. "I think I'll go introduce myself to your mother and see if she needs any help with the food." He left the living room.

"I guess introductions are in order." Buffy said. "This is my sister, Dawn." Dawn waved a little. "Dawn, these are my friends, Willow, Oz, Faith, Xander, Anya, Cordy, Spike and Tara." She pointed everyone out.

"It's nice to finally meat the infamous Dawnie." Xander joked.

"Yeah, we've heard a lot about you." Willow added.

"I bet not half as much as I've heard about you guys." Dawn said. "I swear, every other sentence Buffy says when I'm on the phone with her it's either 'Willow said this' or 'Spike did this'. I tell you, it gets old fast. But it is nice to meet you, though."

"You'll have to excuse her, she has no manners." Buffy said, sending Dawn a 'if I could kill you with my eyes you'd be dead' look over the table.

"Mommy look what I got!" Cody interrupted the stare fest.

"Wow, that's a good movie, sweetie." Willow had brought him 'SpongeBob Square Pants – The Movie'. "Why don't you put it by the TV, OK?" Cody nodded and went over to the TV where he put the DVD next to the other movies they had.

"Thanks, Wils, he's been talking about that movie ever since we saw it at the cinema." Buffy said to Willow.

"No problem. Everyone can enjoy a little SpongeBob from time to time." Willow replied.

"Yeah, we might borrow it." Tara added, giggling.

"But it can't possibly compare to 'Finding Nemo'." Faith objected, and everyone started laughing when they remembered Faith's reaction to the movie.

They were interrupted when Joyce and Giles came into the room, carrying trays with food.

"Dinner is ready!" Joyce announced, putting the jams down on the table. Giles set the large turkey in the middle before they both returned to the kitchen for the rest of the food.

Soon everyone were seated, and Buffy looked around at her friends and family.

"Thanks for coming, all of you. I can't remember the last time we really celebrated Thanksgiving." She said, and her mother shook her head.

"It has been years. I've actually missed it." Joyce said.

"Well, we're just glad you're having us." Cordy said.

"We wouldn't have it any other way." Joyce said, smiling.

"Hungry." Cody piped up from his chair next to Buffy.

"I know, sweetie, we're gonna eat in a minute, but first we have to say thanks." Buffy said.

"Thanks for what?" Cody asked.

"You see, Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful for what has happened during

the year, and to tell other people." Buffy explained.

"Why?" Cody insisted.

"So that the people we care about know that we do." Willow contributed. Cody seemed to settle for that explanation.

"OK."

"Thank you." Buffy mimed to Willow over the table. Willow just smiled back.

"OK, who wants to go first?" Joyce asked.

"I'll go." Faith said. "I'm grateful for passing all my midterms." Everyone started laughing. "No, really, I didn't think I was going to. Seriously, though. I'm grateful for my family, and for my friends, old and new ones." She shot Buffy a look over the table. "This year has been a great one, and I hope the next one will be too."

They went around the table, everyone saying the things they were grateful for. At last, Buffy was the only one left.

"OK, I guess that leaves me." She giggled a little nervously. "I am grateful for my mom, you are the greatest mom ever, the way you've supported me, not only this past year, is more than I would ever have expected. I love you." Joyce gave her daughter a tearful smile. "I'm grateful for my sister, when it comes to bratty kids you're not half bad." Buffy and Dawn exchanged a look of understanding. "And, I'm grateful for my little boy." She gave Cody a kiss on his head which he squirmed under. "It's hard sometimes, but I wouldn't want it any other way." She looked around the table. "And last, but not least, I'm grateful for you guys. I don't know if I could have survived this semester, let alone the next three and a half years, if it wasn't for you. I never expected making that many new friends, and definitely not as close as you guys have become. I love you guys." By the time she was done, Buffy had tears streaming down her cheeks, and there were not many dry eyes around the table. Faith, Oz and Cordy, who were closest, enveloped Buffy in a group hug.

"We love you too, B." Faith replied for the entire table, and everyone nodded.

"Wow, that got a little more emotional than I had in mind." Buffy said, wiping the tears form her face. "On to a more cheerful subject – let's eat!"

xxxxx

"Hey guys." Buffy said, sitting down between Willow and Faith in the cafeteria. She dropped her books on the table and then buried her face in her hands. "Thank God we only have finals twice a year."

"You finish the last one?" Cordy asked, and Buffy nodded.

"Yes, finally. If I never see a test again in my entire life it would be too soon."

"Well, you've got five months to get ready for the next round." Xander said cheerfully.

"Don't even remind me." Buffy groaned. "Are everyone else done too?"

Everyone at the table nodded.

"Spike's got his last right now." Willow said, looking at her watch. "He should be here any minute."

"At least none of us have to grade the tests." Anya said. "I don't get why Spike wanted to be TA, it's just more work for him."

"I happen to enjoy the extra work, thank you very much Anyanka." Spike said, joining them at the table. "Everyone done?" He asked, looking around as everyone nodded.

"So, when's everyone coming over tonight?" Buffy asked,feeling the need of a subject change. Since most of them were leaving Sunnydale for Christmas, they had decided to get together that evening to exchange presents.

Buffy was driving to LA the following day, and Anya's flight to New York left at nine that morning. Then Spike and his dad would be going to England to spend the holidays with relatives the day after, and Willow and Tara were going to Tara's family in Denver, since Willow's family were jewish and didn't celebrate christmas. Last out was Faith, who didn't leave for Chicago until the following Monday. Only Xander, Oz and Cordy were going to stay in Sunnydale for the Christmas break.

"How about around six?" Willow suggested, and everyone agreed.

"Sounds good, I'll order the pizza." Buffy nodded, checking her watch and getting up. "Gotta go pick up Cody, but I'll see you in a couple of hours." She waved and walked across the lawn towards the day care center.

xxxxx

"Hey guys, come on in." Buffy stepped aside to let William and Tara into the house. "You're the last ones."

"Sorry about that, we had to stop by the store on the way, last minute shopping." Tara explained, taking her jacket off and hanging it on the coat rack.

"No problem, we just got done putting the presents under the tree." Buffy walked ahead of Tara and Willow into the living room where a large, plastic Christmas tree was taking up one of the corners.

"Merry Christmas everybody!" Willow exclaimed as she entered the room, getting a round of 'Merry Christmas' back.

"Is not Chismas yet." Cody stated.

"No, not really, but we're celebrating today too." Buffy tried to explain. "So you'll get presents today and on Christmas Day."

"Lot of pesents!" Cody beamed at her.

"That's right, baby, a lot of presents."

"OK, let's get down to the opening of the presents, shall we?" Spike suggested, and everyone agreed.

As Xander started handing out presents, Buffy looked around the room at her friends. If someone had told her a year ago that she would be spending the next Christmas with eight close friends, she would never have believed them. She was glad that she'd been wrong.


	7. 7 Valentine's Day

**7 – Valentine's Day**

"Hey, he give you any trouble?" Buffy asked as she walked into the living room where Spike was watching TV. She found Cody asleep in an armchair, hugging a soft toy bear close to him.

"He's been out like a light for almost an hour, I tired him out with hide and seek." Spike replied.

"Did he hide in the cupboard under the sink again?" Buffy asked, joining Spike on the couch.

"Yeah, but I looked for him a good twenty minutes before finding him."

It was now February, and a couple of weeks into the spring semester. Spike had offered to baby sit every Thursday, so that Buffy could sign up for an evening class that day, and most nights ended in hide and seek.

Since the comment about lingerie and Victoria's Secret, Spike hadn't made another move. There were still looks and 'accidental' touches, but that was it.

As Spike focused back on the TV, Buffy took the opportunity to watch him. He had done so much for her and Cody in the past five months, more than she could have ever expected. She knew that he cared about both of them, and she cared a lot about him too. More than her other friends.

Wait a minute... she thought to herself. Where did that come from?

Thinking about it, she realized that it was true. She considered Spike more than a friend, but she didn't know how to make him realize that she was finally ready.

"You OK?" Buffy looked up at Spike's question and found him frowning at her.

"Yeah, just thinking." She replied.

"Pennie for your thoughts."

"I was just wondering what you're doing on Sunday?" Buffy held her breath as she awaited his answer.

"Why, do you need a baby sitter?" He asked.

"No, I thought that maybe... we could do something..." Buffy looked away, afraid that she had misread the signs. Maybe he wasn't interested anymore.

"Sunday's Valentine's Day." Spike stated, and Buffy nodded.

"I know." She dared a glance at him. He was looking at her intently.

"Are you sure about that?" He had a disbelieving look on his face.

"Only if you want to." Buffy hurried to add, not wanting him to think she was desperate.

"Who would watch Cody? It is Valentine's Day, after all." Buffy wasn't sure that this was a yes or not, but she decided to go with it.

"I'm sure my mom would be OK with taking a day off to come up here." Buffy replied, not even sure where that idea came from.

"Then I would love to take you out." Spike stated.

"Really? Because you don't have to, I mean if you already had plans, I know I kinda sprung this on you last minute, but I..."

Buffy was interrupted by Spike's lips on hers, which was a very effective way to shut her up. The kiss wasn't sensual or demanding, but soft and sweet, and over way too quickly.

"I've gotta get going, I'll see you tomorrow in class." Spike got up and grabbed his jacket off the back of the couch. "Seven on Sunday sound good?"

"Sounds great."

xxxxx

"Hello?"

"I just asked him out!" Buffy exclaimed the moment Willow answered the phone.

"Who is this?" Willow asked.

"Buffy!"

"Oh, hi, sweetie. You did what?" Willow was sounding confused.

"I got home from my class, and Cody was asleep in the living room and Spike was watching TV and I just asked him out." Buffy explained.

"Really? That's great!" Willow said excitedly. "When?"

"Sunday."

"That's Valentines Day." Willow stated.

"I was aware of that, thank you." Buffy said sarcastically.

"I didn't mean it like that, I was just surprised." Willow defended herself. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't know I was going to do it until I actually did." Buffy replied.

"A spur of the moment kinda thing?"

"I guess. Oh my God, what if it doesn't work?" Buffy was suddenly panic struck.

"Don't even go there!" Willow scolded. "This will work. I have watched the two of you over the past couple of months, and you are perfect for each other."

"I am going to need mental coaching, and fashion advice, on Sunday." Buffy stated.

"Count me and Tara in." Willow promised. "We're having dinner at this great little restaurant, but it's not til eight."

"He's picking me up at seven." Buffy said. "What am I going to wear?"

xxxxx

"The fashion patrol report for duty!" Cordy announced as she closed the door behind her, Faith and Anya. It was five thirty on The Sunday, and Buffy, Willow and Tara were already in full pre-date mode in Buffy's bedroom. Joyce was stationed in the living room with Cody.

"Thank God you're here, she's freaking out!" Willow half whispered.

"I am not freaking out." Buffy objected, looking through one of the piles of clothes that were littering the floor.

"Step away from the clothes!" Cordy demanded, and Buffy dropped a top she'd been holding.

"We've got the goods right here." Faith held up a paper bag.

"Yes, Spike will go competely crazy when he sees you in this." Anya contributed.

"Not sure that's what I'm looking for." Buffy replied sceptically.

"Trust me, this will look amazing on you." Cordy assured her, pulling a skirt and top from the bag. "Change!"

Buffy pulled off the clothes she was wearing and put the skirt and the top on.

"Does it look OK?" She asked, turning around as she was trying to see the back.

"It looks more than OK, sweetie." Tara stated.

"Really?" Buffy went to the full body mirror on one of the walls and looked at her relfection. The skirt was black and made in a silky material. It wasn't too short, but stopped an inch or so above her knees. The top was a red halter that tied behind her neck. She really did look good. "Wow."

"You can say that again, babe." Faith agreed. "A little make up, nice shoes and Willy won't know what hit him."

"Let's get started then."

xxxxx

Spike nervously paced the porch to Buffy's house. He was a little early, which was good, since he needed a few minutes to pull himself together.

What the hell was going on? He didn't get nervous on dates. This was just another girl, nothing special about her.

As the thought crossed his mind, he knew it wasn't true. Ever since the day they'd met, there had been something about Buffy that simply drew him in. He couldn't put a finger on what it was, and he was in no position to fight it, not that he wanted to.

Deciding to just jump right in, Spike reached out and rung the door bell. A minute later, the door opened to reveal Buffy's mom.

"Hello Spike, come on in." She stepped aside to let him into the house. "I'll let the girls know you're here."

She went upstairs to allert Buffy and whoever else was up there with her, and Spike went into the living room where Cody was watching a movie on the TV.

"Spike!" Cody announced as he spotted him, jumped off the couch and gave Spike a hug.

"Hey kiddo." Spike hugged him back before putting him down on the floor again. "What're you watching?"

"Sponge Bob." Cody replied, turning his attention back to the TV.

"Again?"

"Wanna play with me?" Cody asked, tearing his attention away from Bob and Patrick's adventures on the screen.

"Not tonight, tiger, your mom and I are going out." Spike replied.

"Out where?" Cody wondered.

"To a restaurant to eat." Spike explained.

"Can I come?" Cody did his best puppy eyes.

"You have to stay here and keep nana company, or she'll be all alone. You wouldn't want that, would you?" Spike reasoned.

"I can stay with nana." Cody happily obliged. "Then can we play?"

"Tell you what, we can play on Wednesday, when mommy has her class, OK?"

"OK." Cody nodded and, apparently deciding that the conversation was over, returned to the couch and focused on the movie.

"Hi." Spike turned around at Buffy's voice. He hadn't heard her come into the room.

"Hey." He replied, taking in her outfit. She looked amazing. "You look great."

"Thanks." She replied. "You're not half bad yourself."

"You wanna..." He gestured at the door, and Buffy nodded.

"I just have to say goodnight first." She went over to the couch. "Mommy's going out, OK baby? I'll see you tomorrow."

"Night mama." Cody didn't take his eyes off the TV.

"Night baby." Buffy gave him a kiss on the head, and he squirmed away from her touch.

"He's a big boy now, love." Spike reasoned.

"I know." Buffy replied, following Spike to the door. "I just wish he could stay little forever, you know?"

"I think all parents want that." Spike replied, opening the front door.

"You two have fun, alright? Don't worry about Cody, we'll be fine." Joyce said as Buffy and Spike stepped onto the front porch.

"Thanks for doing this, mom." Buffy said before she closed the door. "I really appreciate it."

"It's not a problem." Joyce assured her. "Now get going, so your friends can get out of your bedroom!"

"Who's in your bedroom?" Spike asked when Joyce closed the door.

"Just Willow, Tara, Cordy, Anya and Faith." Buffy blushed a little. "I wanted help to get ready, so you wouldn't be disappointed."

"You could never disappoint me, love." Spike assured her.

"Really?"

"Really." Spike opened the door to his DeSoto and Buffy got in. He rounded the car and got into the drivers seat.

"So, where are we going?" Buffy asked as Spike started the car.

"I thought we could have dinner first, and then go to the party at the Bronze." Spike suggested. "If that's OK?"

"It sounds great. All the guys are going to the Bronze later, too." Buffy told him.

There was a Valentine's Day party at the Bronze that night, and it was the social event of the entire month.

"I know, that's why I thought you'd might like to go there." He explained.

"Where are we eating?" Buffy wondered as Spike drove in the direction of the highway.

"I know this place about half an hour outside the town, really nice Italian restaurant." Spike replied. "Unless you don't want italian food?"

"Italian food is fine." Buffy hurried to tell him.

"OK, good." They drove in silence for a while before Buffy spoke again.

"I think we're both nervous, aren't we?" She said, giving Spike a half smile.

"I guess so. Don't really know why, though." He replied. "It's not like we haven't spent time together before, even alone every now and then."

"But it's different now, you know?" Buffy stated. "There are expectations, and what ifs."

"We shouldn't worry about that." Spike noted. "Let's just have a good time, and whatever happens happens, OK?"

"If it's supposed to happen, it will you mean?"

"Yeah. And if it's not... we'll still be friends, right?" Spike looked insecure.

"Of course we will, nothing can change that."

"Then let's just go with it."

xxxxx

"This place is packed." Buffy noted as they entered the Bronze a little later.

The restaurant had been a cosy little italian place by the coast, and the food had been amazing. They had talked about everything and nothing, shared experiences of past dates and laughed. So far, the date was going even better than expected, and they both felt that same connection they had been feeling the entire fall.

"You wanna try to find the guys?" Spike asked in Buffy's ear.

Turning arund, she realized his body was pressed against hers in the crowd, and their lips were only inches apart.

"Let's dance first." She suggested, taking his hand and leading him onto the dance floor.

A slow song started up as they got to the middle of the floor where they were surrounded by other dancing couples. Spike slid his arms around Buffy's waist and she wrapped hers around his neck.

_Come to me now  
And lay your hands over me  
Even if it's a lie   
Say it will be alright  
And I shall believe _

_I'm broken in two  
And I know you're on to me  
That I only come home  
When I'm so all alone  
But I do believe _

_  
That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be  
It seems like every time I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me  
Please say honestly you won't give up on me  
And I shall believe  
And I shall believe _

As the music filled her mind, Buffy leaned her cheek against Spike's shoulder, and he placed a gentle kiss on top of her head.

_  
Open the door  
And show me your face tonight  
I know it's true  
No one heals me like you  
And you hold the key  
_

_Never again  
Would I turn away from you  
I'm so heavy tonight  
But your love is alright  
And I do believe_

That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be  
It seems like every time I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me  
Please say honestly  
You won't give up on me  
And I shall believe  
I shall believe  
And I shall believe

Feeling his arms tighten around her, Buffy looked up into Spike's face. Their eyes were locked together for what felt like an eternity before he leaned down and gently kissed her. It took her a moment to react, but when she returned the kiss, they both knew that this was it. There was no turning back.

_That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be  
It seems like every time I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me  
Please say honestly  
You won't give up on me  
And I shall believe  
I shall believe _

_Please say honestly _

_You won't give up on me_

_And I shall believe_

_I shall believe_

_And I shall believe_

_I shall believe_


End file.
